“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” Maya Angelou
It is really interesting how society places structures around terminology. If we use the word “failure” for example - we have systems set up to provide a negative impact. What about if we termed failure as pedagogy in which it is an essential tool to a growing knowledge-base?
This quote on failure; there is no negative connotation there. Failure and success are the ebb and flow of life, sailing through the middle of this, is the boat of peace. Rewards can be a real positive, but what are they akin to - reinforcing the ups and downs with either of these respective ends being diametrically opposed. How about a culture where we regularly celebrate the energy and commitment behind outcomes? The child in school who is never going to excel academically, may well derive positive self-esteem from the engagement they have invested and also with some acknowledgement of this. A purpose driven life instead of a results driven one. This does not mean lose competition, as there can be positives derived from benchmarking and goal setting - but what are those goals and what is the narrative behind them?
So we all have times in our lives, whether personal or work-related whereby the boat becomes a bit rocky. So as not to go overboard, it is vital to have the right equipment. This varies from person to person combined with a self awareness that can flag when to deploy the safety measures. This takes practice and once mastered, stillness can become the habit within those rocky periods of the journey.
Think about what your stress personal protective equipment (SPPE) is so that you can have it to the ready. Keep alert to your indicators and have a team (your personal team, i.e. friend, partner, colleague- someone trusted and close to you) around you, who, when needed, can highlight when you’re moving towards going overboard.
So the things to think about here are your Team, SPPE and a framework by which you can learn about yourself through a strong self-awareness, so when there is a defeat you will not be defeated. Welcome defeat into your life as a mirror to hold up, take a fresh look and try on a new style